Adult Sibling Grief and Loss
The unique nature of sibling relationships reflects the special bond with someone who intimately shares your childhood and upbringing. We expect our brother or sister to be in our lives forever, sharing in our achievements, our celebrations, our weddings, the births of our children and so on. They are our parallel travellers. It is because of this, that the death of a sibling in adulthood hits hard as we struggle to deal with our loss and grief, find ways to make sense of continuing in a world without our sibling in it and how this is magnified by the change in family dynamics. One of the most important things I experienced was that the bond continues after death. It does not cease to exist. While we must come to terms with what has occurred and accept the death, there are meaningful and profound ways of keeping the connection.
My brother’s death shocked us all. It was so unexpected. I struggled to come to terms with how he actually died and to understand what happened.
The Police reported it as a suicide. The one thing I knew about my brother was that he did not “do” suicide. It was not in his nature, not something he would ever choose to do, no matter how dire his situation.
In actual fact, he did take himself over the edge, just not in the way it was portrayed. Something happened that day. Something bigger than him took over, and in those moments as he was seeking help from strangers, he made a decision, and it was all over. Final.
I had a long road ahead, dealing with my loss, our changed family dynamics, pain and growth. Albeit forced growth. Growth had to happen. I could never be the same.
My brother’s death shocked us all. It was so unexpected. I struggled to come to terms with how he actually died and to understand what happened.
The Police reported it as a suicide. The one thing I knew about my brother was that he did not “do” suicide. It was not in his nature, not something he would ever choose to do, no matter how dire his situation.
In actual fact, he did take himself over the edge, just not in the way it was portrayed. Something happened that day. Something bigger than him took over, and in those moments as he was seeking help from strangers, he made a decision, and it was all over. Final.
I had a long road ahead, dealing with my loss, our changed family dynamics, pain and growth. Albeit forced growth. Growth had to happen. I could never be the same.
How Counselling Can Help You Heal
As a counsellor and through my lived experience, I have deep compassion for your circumstances. Everyone’s grief is different and while I cannot fix things, I can be with you, hold space, listen without judgment, and help facilitate your healing process. I can help you deal with the emotional rollercoaster of grief and with any guilt you may feel. Understanding and processing our emotions and thoughts, as well as making use of certain techniques and strategies, may help alleviate some of your suffering and help you deal with your changed life.”